The sound of thousands of voices rumbling through Paul’s mind was nothing but white noise. The static of a television. The fuzz of no signal.

The sharp crack of the sniper’s rifle from above created a preternatural focus.

Head shot for Paul. Followed by more.

That was when the sky erupted into ear shattering explosions of thunder and flashes of lightning.

The weather hadn’t changed. That was the sound of .50 caliber machine guns opening fire. Paul never handled a weapon in his life, so the sounds and recoil shook him to the core.

The rotors and blades of the Black Hawks created high speed winds that threw dust and debris in every direction.  The crowd panicked and scattered. Lasseter, Billy-Bob and Paul stood their ground, bobbing and weaving through the carnage.

Akira threw her arms skyward, greeting the chaos.

Billy-Bob shielded his eyes, tracking the Black Hawks. “They’re shooting each other!” He yelled, grabbing Paul’s shoulder pulling him backwards towards safety.

Paul responded with a painful wink and a grin.

Abruptly, the firing stopped and the helicopters banked hard toward the empty parking lot on the opposite side of the mall. The crowd tripped and clawed in a mad scramble to escape.

This was American soil. A friendly crowd. Black Hawks firing. Flashbacks to Afghanistan.

“They’re clearing out!”

Paul stood transfixed. He’d connected with the infected minds and in the ‘copters and ordered them to shoot­­—at each other. At the engines. At the search lights. At the snipers.

It wasn’t long before he connected with the pilots, ordering them to bank away.

The ‘copters he couldn’t control had to go down.

BOOM

That wasn’t the loudest explosion Billy-Bob had heard, but based on their altitude, he knew the crashes were survivable.

The death toll would be at a minimum.

 Acceptable levels.

If it were up to Akira, we’d all be dead.

With her arms raised and with the wind billowing her hair, she looked in control.  

But she wasn’t.

Billy-Bob knew. He knew.

Lasseter slid his arm around Paul’s waist, propping him against the wind, shielding him from the debris. He cupped his right hand into a semicircle, yelling to be heard.

 “How’d that feel?”

He took a swig from flask, rolled his eyes skyward, and smiled.

22 thoughts on “Emergence

  1. Comments made.
    So, there seems to be this quasi-state of detachment in some of the text. Some sounds like it might be Paul experiencing the moment. Other parts it’s narrator speak. I wonder if there’s a way to call out the difference?
    I get your intent — stuff is happening in some bubble of consciousness. I’m not sure how to portray that.
    Paul will soon be drunk on power…

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  2. When things need to go BAM, every excess word needs to go away. Which is also the formula for getting writer out of the way. Hit the high points, shut up, get out. Omni is good but pick a pov character for the scene. Omni doesn’t mean we need to get in everybody’s head. I’ll say it again – body language/action. How do you see it, not how do you say it. Good stuff. Go get rid of every excess you think is excess. Send me what’s left.

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    1. This would be a good thought experiment/exercise to rewrite this as you suggest. Will I? Can I? Do I comprehend. The Koan of Elmore Leonard…get rid of everything that sounds like writing.

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      1. This is narrative so not all writing. Just everything that is extraneous. It’s easier for me because I do a lot of dialogue, so it’s easier to get rid of everything and concentrate on the message, fix that, then “set” it somewhere. Because one can “talk” too much as easily as “write” too much. Or I’ll take a weedeater to it, but rather you did it.

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  3. I just love a good chaotic scene of destruction while our merry band of mentalists struggle in slow motion as the swirl of chaos flutters pant legs and Akira’s hair. Oh wait, that’s just my imagination. I find myself in the crowd ducking and weaving. Great scene Bro. Way to open up the story again and dive right in.

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      1. Thank you Bro! I can’t stay away from this thrilling read. I Grok it. I have been slowly descending into the delightful fog of retirement. Renovated the home so it would last long enough for me to graduate to a nursing home and the kids won’t be forced to offload a house with a 90’s decor. That has kept me very busy as I do a lot of the work myself. There is a lot of satisfaction in finishing a small job and still having all my fingers and both eyes still with me. I still work as a consultant with a few hours each week. It pays for gas and hiking gear. Life is good and so far as of today, no replays with Bre’r Covid. How bout you? Anything fun and daring going on with you?

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      2. Nothing “new” but when I start thinking about “retirement” I ask myself why 80 year old dinosaurs are still in charge of the planet. Hell, I can hang in there. Besides. I’ve “been” retirement. There’s only so much chess playing, blogging and weight lifting I can do!!!! I learned on does not actually “exist” in this work unless you’re involved in some sort of “transaction.” Hell, the only people who “see” me are the cute Barista’s at my local Starbucks. And not because I’m so cool or hot, it’s because I’m a regular tipper! I appreciate those smiles!

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      3. Ah, the simple pleasures of life are the best. I count myself as one of the younger dinosaurs and have been pushing hard to get young blood into the science field. The younger folks do produce their wunderkind in amazing numbers but they don’t want Paleolithic ideas, they want to blaze the old trails in new ways and I want to get out of the way so they can. I find the smile of a barista handing me my jet fuel a moment worth living for. We don’t smile enough these days and smiling over good coffee or tea is worth all the wrinkles they cause.

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      4. Agreed! And, I must say, based upon the quality of my response, my cognitive decline is quite evident. I really am turning into the cliche dumb lunk, like Lennie in “Of Mice and Men.” (I am quite big, so it’s a role I don’t mind playing…LOL!)

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      5. Size does matter! I thought Lennie was a good guy, he liked animals and worked hard. He even had a worthy dream to own his own rabbit farm. He just played a little too rough with the little people. Now that we outwitted, outlasted, and outplayed the competition, we deserve a little sport and a lot of relaxation. Time to let the youngsters run the show and show us what they can do.

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